10:41AM
yesterday, i recalled something from my past... a brother... who is very important to me before he pass away... i remembered once that he worried me... i didnt want to sleep that time at his place... or to say i couldnt sleep so i wanted to play his computer for a while... he got angry and he carries me from the chair to the bed... he off the lights... hug me hard and never let go... until i fall asleep... i did struggle that time.. and i remembered hurting him... i cried the other morning... but he said nothing and hug me... his warm body and hand brush over my hair... he is the only one treating me like someone... someone who is my idol... yet i always acted like her... so he treated me like her as well.... how i wish he could be alive... how i wish to see him one last time... how i wish to hear him scold me again... this is the time i really need him... maybe people will think im childish... i admit it... im childish in my inner heart... my outer heart can be a wild to you... brother, i really wish you are here....
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